How Every Pastor Can Develop Thick Skin
When we use the metaphor “thick skin”, we often imagine someone who isn’t easily injured. We picture someone who’s survived the school of hard knocks, doesn’t easily feel and has become tough as nails. Although this could be a path that would develop thick skin, it doesn’t have to be. That’s right! It’s not so much about surviving pain and injury as it is having the right perspective. Let me explain…
When we look at The Apostle Peter providing marching orders to church leaders, we see a perspective that rises above the church noise of hurtful congregants…
[2] shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; [3] not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. [4] And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. 1 Peter 5:2-4
Notice Peter’s focus isn’t on pleasing people! It’s focused on pleasing the “chief Shepherd” (Jesus). In other words, when we pastor a congregation, it doesn’t really matter what they think, as it does what God thinks. Remember, we pastor God’s church! We pastor God’s people! He sets the standard for excellence!
Here’s how it works… When you finish preaching a sermon, what is your immediate default for approval? If you’re seeking accolades and encouragement from others, you are bound to be disappointed. Of course, you want to make sure you are connecting with your audience, but people are fickle. Unfortunately, the most fickle people are the most vocal and like to express their disappointment. This can become a very discouraging rabbit hole you must avoid. All that matters is did you please God? Did you say what God wanted you to say? Did you stick with the truth to His word? Every preacher wants a positive response, but if your only source of approval is people, you won’t last.
It’s also important to remember that Jesus didn’t have a 100% positive response with His audience. He experienced a lot of disapproval by the religious people of His day (i.e. Pharisees). If Jesus experienced opposition and hurtful treatment, what makes you think you should be any different? If fact, Jesus warned His disciples this would happen…
[20] Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. John 15:20a
So the next time you experience a hurtful comment, disapproval, or treated unfairly, ask yourself am I pleasing the Lord? Am I doing what God wants me to do? Responding how God wants me to respond? This type of reflection will deflect the arrows of injury and keep you centered on the most important audience of all, God!
The key to pastoral longevity and developing “thick skin” is keeping your perspective aligned with the Lord. At Revive Consulting, we have firsthand experience in understanding the unique role and challenges involved in the pastorate. Email or give us a call to find out how we can help your pastor avoid an early resignation through one-on-one coaching/consulting.